Slowing everything down, repairing your connection
Explore what's really going on, rediscover hope
I'll help you feel heard and understood, wherever you are in your relationship.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) gives a safe and effective route into the heart of your issues. We slow everything down so that there's space to tune into what's really going on, rebuilding trust and re-pairing your connection.
More on Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
EFCT comes from over 25 years of research, led by Dr Sue Johnson, to understand how and why relationships do or don’t work. Patterns were seen about how connection is created, restored, or lost.
It's the most tested and successful couples’ therapy available. Couples describe very high levels of satisfaction, after sessions and several years later.
Relationships and me - a love of connection
I've explored various types - long-term, shorter ones, consensually involving multiple people, same and opposite gender pairings.
They've been core to my learning about myself, creating a "safe base" to take risks, stretching me to be truthful about my beliefs, desires and fears, and opening me to the other's needs and complexities.
Affairs - an ending or a new beginning
Affairs may be deeply painful, perhaps ending the relationship, and I can help you with this transition.
But trust can be rebuilt, there can still be hope. For some, affairs are the making of a new relationship together. I'll support you in talking compassionately and openly, creating something you both say yes to.
Separating - conscious uncoupling
If needed, sessions can support a separation process that encourages you to express what the relationship has meant to you, helping you gain some sense of completion as you let go.
You can build foundations for future relationships, or for cooperation together where you've got children.
A plan for our journey - rebuilding connection
We build a picture of the cycle that you're repeating together, using recent examples. I'll support you both in describing your experiences.
I'll help the other absorb the things you share, with care for any blocks they find in doing so, checking where things had previously been misunderstood.
We look at the trigger points for disconnection, and explore any injuries you've faced. Your interactions will calm as understanding deepens on both sides.
In this way, you build trust in each other and create new and enduring bonds.
The first meeting is as a couple, then I'll see you both one-to-one, returning to couples' sessions after this. More one-to-ones are possible, if needed.
Sex - could it be a safe adventure together?
Being sexually intimate can bring up a lot of vulnerability. If it's helpful, and when you're ready, I can support you both in talking about how your sex life feels. I've taken extra training in this area.
Closed or open relationship - which is for you?
Perhaps monogamy is exactly what you want to create more love and to feel safe.
Or perhaps something else is needed to meet all the needs that you both have, but with clear limits. We could develop your intimacy contract together, to create safety in your explorations.
My qualifications, experience and commitment
I bring sensitivity, deep listening, and a commitment to creating a safe and collaborative atmosphere. I'm comfortable with charged and intimate conversations.
As a member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, I work to their ethical framework.